I am listening to a song by Eliza Doolittle where she sings "sometimes I wish I was Jesus I'd get my Air Macs on and run across the sea for you"... I know that feeling, but think she might have gotten her period fashion a little off. Jesus wore A.D.I.D.A.S. But Air Macs is much less of a bitch to type than- wait, I am not typing that again!
So, we've been talking so much about me and my problems and my body blah blah
How are you? You look great! Have you lost weight? Yeah, I did too, thank you.
(Please read all that in a voice reminiscent of a full grown woman who is both offensively rich and talks like a baby while wearing a track suit and diamonds)
How was your weekend? Good.
Ok I hope you are happy and realize what a kind soul I am as I just spoke kindly about you.
Well, that was borderline kind, how do you know it wasn't kind? You only heard my side of the conversation cuz I wasn't talking to you!
Sorry, my friend is like totes rude...
Ok, so, oh wait, oh my god, thank you. You like the shiny stud in my nose?
Yeah I figured it was time for something small but new that made me remember my former self again in this difficult time of my life I mean of recovery.
No, I tribally just pushed a small stud through my old piercing, it didn't really hurt and doesn't. I didn't feel the need to pay someone money I don't have to do what I actually enjoyed. It was awesome. Now, I totes regret not taking that piercing internship when I was like 21 and working 3 jobs, going to school full time and acting full time so- i couldn't have possibly fit in an internship. We all need our alone 15 minutes a day!
I have also taken this time to catch up on True Blood and last night, I cried at Mean Girls ( I had a few 6 pack beers and a few bottle shots) umm, been listening to a lot of Haim and Eliza Doolittle, Beyonce and Justin Beiber. I know, that is a butt plug of pop, but at least it's different genres. Waiting for that Angel Haze, but I'll have to buy it cuz it's impossible (tech friends?) to download anything but iTunes on an IPad... Jerks! But I love my iPad and it's my only computer.
Well I know it's Hawaii, but it's a beautiful day and I NEED to go out and get a job like two weeks ago, I have 1 but the dates of when I start keep changing, and I found out I have to travel across island for 3 days of training! Not cool. Well, I'll still do it, not complaining but come on! That sucks.
Um, update on the divorce-
It sucks, we fight more and more aggressively when we communicate and I'm not playing victim, but it's always him. I snapped, and I don't think we will ever speak again after what we both said. That's a nice out for closure, right? I thought so. Pretty sure I'm gonna bite the bullet and move back to Chicago anyways. Fuck. The thought of that makes me so cold, but it's so unrealistic to stay here.
The only validation I can think of moving to a whole new area which I have been scoping out. The apts are cheaper and I can find plenty of work or still walk to Waikiki. If I really want to make this work, I can. Just gotta try really hard and I'm terrified of it, honestly. I've never felt this insecure, alone or afraid, but also stronger than ever. I know that is a contradiction, but it's how I feel. That's the best I can describe it common folk, but in creative mind speak it's like I have been through the worlds untimely and devastating annihilation, but survived and I peel back my cloak as rubble, corrosion and decay cascade off my frail and clearly internally injured body as I hold up a single unharmed brass genie elephant shaped bottle with a small candle burning ferociously against the winds atop it.
Thank you, I thought that was beautiful as well. I know, I told all my friends to read my blog too and donate to my paypal! This is exciting for me also!
My girl Psalm One finally released the date of her upcoming sophomore release on Rhymesayers called Hug Life. If you can't wait, Free Hugs is up on her bandcamp page and it's awesome! She has gotten better each verse she drops in my opinion, but I'm biased. Psalm One is my favorite rappers period. Her music is consistently original, she is cool as fuck in person and she does amazing work for the community on top of being one of the dopest lyricists in the game. I make people pass the test, they must inquire about who is playing ( she's on every hip hop playlist I make) or we aren't really gonna be friends, lol. I don't really do that, some people just have bad taste. Just don't be coming up in here playing 2chainz and expect nice things to happen. I'm serious.
And on jeangrae.com you can watch Jeans new sitcom Life With Jeannie. It's funny as hell, and she has impeccable timing and is incredibly goofy. You can tell that in her rhyming. Jean had an awesome year releasing the 3 part Gotham Down series (now available as one album, but released as a serial on her bandcamp) it is the continuation of her alter ego serial killing assassin persona which she has been writing about on and off for the past decade. Highly recommended.
Oh yeah, so other than the previously mentioned highlights of the week, I also have NYE to look forward to. Probably gonna do something with my girls, but low key, son. We ain't spending no more than $5 to get in the club. You should pay me, bitches! My presence is a present!
We might just stay in, cuz that way we can get totally drunk and still have a fun time. We can dance and shit, and I'll bring my lights ( I'm mentioning them every post, damnit)
Um, I'm shuffling my iPad songs and it's terrifying I don't know what this is and it's weird. Sometimes I wonder what I exactly downloaded the night I took all the Benadryl and the rest of the medicine cabinet...
But, I know it's from me. Ok, skip helps.
This song is awesome! Mighty Mos!
This might be my most random entry yet, or my most clear? You decide, but keep it to your self. No fuckin spoilers on your Facebook timeline! I hate that shit!
Gotta shout out all my best friends all over the world who have helped me get through bad days, even friends I thought I'd never talk to again or form a new friendship with. Maybe that's what they meant by time heals all... I was just thinking about it. It isn't the time for me and my ex to be together now and I have accepted that. It's time for me to rebuild old connections with friends both long lost and right in front of me and time for me to do me, put my big boy pants back on and try even harder. I can do this. And I can do it better than you, boo!
Kidding,
K.J. Dominick's
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ReplyDeleteLove you! Good words. They will offer some relief to you, I believe ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks baby. I appreciate all the feedback! Trying to make my blog bigger and badder than ever! Spread the word!
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